Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
