I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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