have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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