People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
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I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize