That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you mean i was at the winter classic?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So much rum. So many feels.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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