Jerry, you need to find god
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
