honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
