You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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