you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
