Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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