when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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