I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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