Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
