Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
