i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
