My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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