I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
