Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
