Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
