What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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