watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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