I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
