Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
