Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
