Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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