I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
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I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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