I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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