just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
