Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize