I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I smell stomach acid.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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