I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This is my gift to your gina
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
