I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
