I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
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I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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