I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
