How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
