OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
