So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize