I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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