It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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