remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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