how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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