I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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