haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
