normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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