Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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