dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
