your parents love me but you hate me
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Your cock deserves a montage
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
