People with herpes should wear stickers.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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