well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
