Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
