Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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