I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
