yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
