Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
