Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
