How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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